Transformations require that we let go of familiar ways of doing things, without yet knowing what we will do next. — Sheldon B. Kopp
Rule 1. Relationships are the way in and relationships are the way out Rule 2. You can’t change rule 1.
Most symptoms driving us to seek emotional relief are, at their root, relationship issues. No one has a perfect childhood, and any disturbances in our earliest relationships can develop into psychological symptoms in adulthood. Feelings that we’re too young to understand or even acknowledge may result in unhealed emotional wounds along with unique styles of coping. These constitute what is known as the false self. The false self serves to mask these wounds, and with them, our true self. When we mature, these same feelings (memories) and the ways we coped, will invariably be triggered in our present-day relationships. Our false self, which originally developed to protect us, stands in the way of connectedness (a sense of safety and satisfying relationships) and leave us suffering from symptoms such as anxiety, anger, depression, loneliness, and even stress-related physical ailments. The more intolerable the suffering, the greater the requirement to cope (self-soothe) through acting-out or self-medication with drugs or alcohol . Meanwhile, our true selves, and our most basic needs, remain suppressed and unrealized.
Nevertheless, just as relationships are at the root of our suffering, they also are the remedy. This is most fortunate, as emotional wounds do not heal on their own. They require specific and necessary conditions to be activated that allow for their resolution. Fortunately this happens very predictably, like the body’s attempts to heal physical wounds. A safe psychotherapeutic relationship provides a context from which our wounds can mend and our true selves be re-awakened. This secure connection provides the framework from which we can strengthen where we once were weak; find ease where we once were anxious; feel alive where we once were depressed; thrive where we once just survived; and finally, enjoy the close relationships we deserve, and that are essential to having a good life.
Growth-Oriented therapy aimed at resolving painful symptoms and unfulfilling patterns of behavior.
Intimacy-Focused therapy aimed at helping couples move from struggle to closeness
Evan has been a practicing psychotherapy for over 25 years. His approach is to get to know and understand his clients in order to create a new therapy, so to speak, that is unique for each client. His approach is synthesized from his hard-won life experience, honed theoretical views and professional experience. All of which he brings to bear in the service of helping people master their suffering once and for all.